Music sets the tone and brings emotions to the forefront. In many ways, music says what words cannot. We often shy away from expressing emotions, but don’t be afraid to invite people to express their grief. Consider using music as an avenue to bring out what people are thinking and feeling. 

Readings also invite mourners to express their emotions while also honoring the unique spirit of the one who has died. Has a poem, lyrics, or movie quote just spoken to you? These words can easily be used as a reading and can add a deeper dimension to the service.  

The visitation or reception is a time for everyone to gather and express support and sympathy. If you choose, the body may be present, allowing mourners to physically say goodbye one final time. This element also offers a special time for personalization - where you can tell the story of a loved one’s lifetime.  

In many ways, the eulogy may be the single most important aspect of a service. After all, it is a special set-aside time to acknowledge and affirm the significance of the life lived. The eulogy can be delivered by a clergy person, a family member, or even by a series of people to create a meaningful moment. 

Symbols are an important aspect of a service because they convey love and comfort, facilitate expression, and offer a focus point for the bereaved. For example, for an artist, you might display examples of their work; for a reader, you might include favorite books. Common symbols are an appropriate religious symbol, flowers, dark clothing, and candles, but you can use whatever feels best to honor your loved one.  

The gathering is an opportunity for friends and family to come together after the service to share stories and to support each other. This event may occur at the funeral home, an event center, someone’s home, or even a local restaurant. The point of a gathering is to bring people together to share stories, remember a loved one, and connect (or reconnect) with people. 

Finally, by inviting others into action at the service, you engage mourners and invite them to put their grief into motion. Simply put, mourning is the outward expression of our inward grief. To move others toward healing, it is important to invite them to act. You could light candles of remembrance, ask mourners to wear a certain color, or invite friends and family to share a special memory.